Below is a list of one-line responses that an Upstander can try in order to stop bullying. It is important to remember that if you are afraid for your safety or the safety of the victim of bullying, the best response is to tell an adult. Here are several rules to remember:
- Do not call names.
- Describe the behavior you are seeing.
- Label the behavior you are seeing.
- Tell the person who is bullying how it makes you feel.
- Tell the person who is bullying how it makes the victim feel.
- Tell an adult if you feel threatened!
Direct comments to someone who is bullying
- I don't see the fun in making another kid feel bad. Let's do something else.
- Why do you only do this kind of thing when no adults are around?
- Does it make you somehow feel good about yourself to pick on others? Who is next?
- What you are doing is called bullying. Please stop it!
- Let's go talk with the teacher or principal about this behavior and see what she thinks about it.
- Hey! Stop it! That is bullying!
- You seem to enjoy causing other people to suffer. That is sad.
- Let's go do something that does not involve hurting other people's feelings.
- Bullying another kid just because...is not cool.
- Bullying for any reason is wrong. Knock it off!
Comments to other bystanders
- When we watch and we are silent, he/she thinks it is okay. It is not.
- When we do nothing, we are supporting the bullying behavior.
- If enough of us tell him or her we don't like this behavior, they might stop.
- If enough of us tell him or her we won't hang out if they bully like this, they might stop.
- Let's not laugh if they are bullying someone. Laughing only encourages bullying.
- Let's just tell him or her to knock it off.
- Let's just tell him or her that they are bullying.
- Let's just tell him or her we don't like their bullying behavior and they need help to stop.
- Let's just all walk away when they are bullying.
- If they don't stop their bullying behavior when we tell them to, let's get help from an adult.
Statements to the victim of the bullying
- I am sorry this is happening to you.
- You don't deserve to be bullied. No one does.
- What can I do to be supportive to you?
- Can we play together/eat together/do something together?
- Let's just walk away when he/she treats you this way.
- Let's just ignore him/her/them when they do this.
- Kids who bully are just being mean.
- I am glad you don't fight back. That would only make it worse. (It's important to stand up for yourself with confidence instead of fighting back.)
- Who can we talk to if it happens again?
- Something about you that I admire is...